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I Did Not Die

by Tim van Doorn

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about

My father was a mathematician.

Even though mom always told me that during the time of the ancient Greeks our professions were combined as one class, I never felt that we completely understood what the both of us were doing during our workweeks. And I was completely fine with that!

I wish I inherited some of his sense of structure in life though. He knew everything and most times I didn’t even have to ask for help if I had a problem.

Sadly, my dad passed away two weeks ago during a terrible traffic accident. It physically hurts to this day, and I assume it will for a long time to come.

In the days after his passing I tried to be there for my mom and it became very clear that he was precise about, and prepared for, everything. When I looked through his laptop, I found a folder with poems and I Did Not Die was the first one I clicked on.

I tried to put a melody to the words and played it at his funeral. I recorded it this weekend as some kind of closure for myself and I feel like sharing it with you all.

I don’t like posting too much negative personal stuff on social media but there were so many people that came up to me through Facebook/ Instagram/ whatever that I felt a thank you was in order. So yeah; thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I always listened to my mom’s stories about his adventures overseas. He did a lot of guest lectures on the type of mathematics he was specialized in (Orthogonal-Polynominals, I just learned to write that down, give me another 36 years or so to understand what it means) and they had all kinds of memorabilia to prove this. Lots of literature, photos and some posters; including one in all Chinese symbols with only his name in “normal” lettering. I never gave it much thought until my good friend Daniël told me during his funeral…

He might’ve been a mathematician, but in his profession he was so much more than just that. He toured the world and turned his passion into his profession.

My father was a bigger rock star than me. And I can’t be more proud to be his son.

lyrics

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there.
I did not die.

credits

released November 19, 2019
poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye, music by Tim van Doorn.

recorded, mixed and mastered by Tim @ Big Dog Recordings

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about

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Tim van Doorn Antwerp, Belgium

I hate writing a bio since it feels dumb to write one about yourself, but I don't have the funds to pay someone else to do it.

Hi, I'm Tim. I own a studio in Antwerp where I spend a lot of time making music with friends. Sometimes I make music of my own. Right now I'm working towards releasing a new E.P.
Hope you dig it!

Thanks for listening.

Cheers,

Bob. ... more

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